When the right time for long term commitment? When you ready or wait till perfect one?

21 Apr 2011


Actually, I really want to write this topic for long time ago. Before I wrote movie review “No String Attached”, which I touch about anti-commitment. Then someone hurt after read it. So I make this post now. Honestly, I dont care what impact i’ll get from it, but I need make more clarify bout this, so people will have wider vision about me. Thats why I post in this blog. Because I make this blog for more personal purpose than just write something in general.

Background why I wonder about this topic, started from when I remember one of my close friend who 7 years elder than me. I know him since I was in junior high school and he was on university. We known each other because we were neighborhood. I know almost love story he got. Even when we’re moved to Jakarta. And after almost 5 years never met, we accidentally met at Plaza Semanggi, then we share story which lost for 5 years. Less than one year after we met at Plangi, he got married with his girlfriend. They are one of perfect couple I ever know.

Then my thought got deeper when I saw some of people who I know their love story is, finally married and being perfect couple above age of 30. So I made my own conclusion: Theres someone perfect for me waiting there, but I dont know where is she. And just time who can meet us.

When I was 18, I remember my own dream to got marry at 22, after I graduate from Univ., so my child is 8yo when I turn 30. My dream suddenly distract with all my experience I got, specially in relationship. So I erase one dream in my life and it is target to get marry. For me I just want to focus on career and study.

In my age 24, its fine im not marry yet. Yes, because im a man. Not like some my girlfriends who seems panic at my age when they are not marry yet. 1 thing I never do after I graduate is attending a friend wedding party. Whoever friends from, like school, college or community. I only attend friend wedding because s/he is my neighborhood. And why I wont attend at wedding party? Because for me its really unimportant. Unimportant about party it self, but I tend look into how they maintain their marriage. I know wedding party can be the best place for reunion, once again from my side the best place for reunion is in future when we attend our friends child wedding and bring our partner who always beside us more than a half of our age.

Standard question people ask when we’re in wedding party is: when you will get marry?

Sucks question for most people who still single and with age which common people think its time for person to have their own family. One of reason why I wont attend wedding party is to avoid hear that silly question. Then why marriage is something you should target in time with question word “when”?

Which one better. Married soon with wrong person or married in the age that common people think its too old to get married and having happy ending like in Cinderella story?

To answer that question I still dont get the right answer. Because if I choose second option are the best one, is to cliche, we’re not living in Disney World that every story have happy ending.

So, if someone ask you: When you will get married?

Would you answer it with : When Im ready or let time answer for it :)

TAGS time commitment married



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